If you’re in need of a good laugh, look no further than this post. We’ve collected some of our favorite jokes, each guaranteed to make you smile (or even better, laugh out loud). Whether you’re in the mood for a cheesy one-liner or a hilarious story, we’ve got you covered. So go ahead and enjoy these knee-slappers.
The Best Jokes You’ve Ever Heard
What one person calls a corny joke, another person might call a dad joke or the best joke they’ve ever heard. It just depends on your sense of humor. But regardless of whether you think these are corny or the best knee-slapper around, we can all agree that they’re hilarious. Here are a few funny jokes to get the family laughing:
Knock! Knock! Jokes
A knock, knock joke or two always gets at least a chuckle. The more ridiculous, the better. If you have children, this is a great way to pass the time on long car rides.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
I had no idea you could yodel!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ida.
Ida who?
Did you mean Idaho?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Hey, don’t cry!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Owls.
Owls who?
They sure do!
The Ultimate Dad Joke
Are you a dad? If so, it’s most likely your life’s mission to annoy your kids with corny dad jokes. Here are a few of the funniest jokes to get you started.
- “I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.”
- “Why do dads need an extra pair of socks on golf day?” “They sometimes get a hole in one!”
- “What happens when you get soap in your mouth while singing in the shower? You start a soap opera.”
- “What do you call a fish wearing a black tie?” “Sofishticated.”
- “Why don’t scientists trust atoms?” “Because they make up everything!”
- “Don’t worry about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”
- “Why did the gym close down?” “It just didn’t work out!”
- “What do you get in Karma? You get what you deserve!”
- Why do bees have sticky hair? They use a honeycomb.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten tickles.
- What do you call a bear with sticky hair and no teeth? A gummy bear.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it
- I used to be a waiter, but then I gave my too weak notice.
- What did the baby corn ask mama corn? Where’s pop corn?
- What’s worse than a worm in your apple? Half a worm.
- What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
- How did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
- When a door is ajar it’s not a door. Think about it.
Need a bit more than a dad joke to get the whole family laughing? Check out these elevator jokes.
Uplifting Elevator Jokes
What’s the best type of joke to tell in an elevator? A lift joke, of course! Here are some of our favorites:
Elevators…
- They have their ups and downs
- Can really push my buttons.
- Make me sad because they lift me up, then let me down.
- Are like dress shirts…you can button down or button up.
- Really drive me up the wall.
More Funny Sayings About Elevators
- If you press floor one on an elevator, will you be the first one down?
- I’ve always had a severe phobia of elevators. All my life I’ve taken steps to avoid it.
- Stay away from steps, they’re always up to something.
- Elevators have a way of picking me up when I’m down.
- How do you climb the corporate ladder faster? take the elevator.
- Riding on an elevator is an uplifting experience.
- Elevators get me on so many different levels.
Elevator one-liners to Tell Your Friends
Do you know why ghosts like an elevator? Because it lifts their spirits.
My brother always prefers the stairs, whereas I like to use the elevator – I guess we are raised differently.
How do you raise the steaks? You put a cow in an elevator going up.
What did one elevator say to the other? – I think I’m coming down with something.
My dad worked in the elevator business. He quit because there were too many ups and downs.
I got robbed in an elevator. – That escalated quickly.
Say what you want about elevator music. – At least it’s uplifting.
More Jokes For The Adventurous
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
- What do you call a belching skeleton? A burp-ing ghoul!
- How do you throw a space party? You planet!
- Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because they are easy to see through.
- What do you call a pony a sick pony? A little horse
- Why did the student eat his homework? It was a piece of cake
- How do you make a cat’s favorite dessert? You fill a bowl with mice-cream.
- Yesterday I saw a guy spilling all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him: Any new word on the street?
- Once my dog ate every tile. He was constantly writing messages at home.
Dad joke of the day
- Why do actors always break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
Final Thoughts We hope you enjoyed these corny jokes and that they brought a smile to your face. If you have any favorite jokes that we missed, be sure to share them with us in the comments below.
